Since starting a new blog I have had chaos in my mind; what do I write about? I can think of plenty of titles I’m qualified to write about. I have been a mother for over 19 years, I have five sons and one daughter (currently ages 6-19 years). You learn many things over the course of 20 years, so when you decide to start sharing your knowledge, where do you start?

I figured out the best way is to begin streamlining my blogs categorically and strategically. That being said, one of the main focuses closest to my heart right now is that of the health and well-being of my children, including their quality of life. Simple, right? But what does that entail?

Are any of us qualified to become parents? The short answer is a simple, no, not really. I also think there’s such a thing as being over-qualified (helicopter parent). The truth, in my most humble opinion, is we’re all struggling at times to decide what is best for our children. The differences and struggles are what make us both unique and human. That is the beauty of diversity in life–diverse cultures, parenting styles, tastes, etc. You name it, no two people are exactly alike. One thing we all have in common though, we all make mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn, grow, mature, advance, and hopefully do better next time to avoid those mistakes. Some mistakes can’t be taken back though, like if you forget your child in the back seat of your car for example, or if your child falls into your swimming pool and you don’t know CPR.

No reason to panic though, the truth is that anyone can learn by the click of a mouse these days. YouTube tutorials, blogs, classes, and government programs are easily obtainable so the most important thing you can do is try to prepare. In years past, parenting was something you gleaned knowledge from your own parent or grandparents. Many of us are still fortunate today to have this option but many do not. So what are some ways we can prepare ourselves to avoid making some pretty big mistakes that there’s just no way to undo? As a mother, when I think about the course of my day from beginning to end, I have many roles, skills, and abilities that I’ve had to master. New York Post claims being a mom is the equivalent of 2.5 FULL-TIME jobs. That means we work consistently 100+ hours per week doing 40 different jobs, for free. So best-case scenario, you’re prepared, financially established, have a good support system in place, got it all planned out right up to the day of ovulation, due date, and birth. Most of the time, however, few people think past that point. That’s why I have compiled a list of suggestions to help you prepare for the coming years ahead as a parent.

1. Take a nursing or medical class: Many hospitals offer a wide range of newborn care classes, however, no one ever thinks to continue this education. I became a Certified Nursing Assistant when I was 18. At the time, the class was only $300 out of pocket. It’s gone up now, obviously, to over $2000 for the class, however, I’d gladly pay it today knowing how valuable this information has been to me over the years. I can name many examples of how I’ve used this knowledge. My second son has a heart condition and over the years, throughout surgeries and doctor appointments, it was so much easier to just pull out my stethoscope and monitor his condition from home instead of running to the doctor every 5 minutes. Not to mention, when the doctors explained his specific condition to me, I understood every word and it was easier to comprehend. My daughter has been hospitalized twice for pneumonia, and her only symptom at the time was a low-grade fever and lack of appetite. Also, recently, my youngest son presented with a fever of 104 degrees, acted sleepy, and had runny stools. Normally as a vetted mom, you would just push fluids and rest, but this time something didn’t feel right. He was lethargic, confused, and with Tylenol and a cold bath, his temperature would not come down. So with the COVID-19 fear-mongering situation, I felt impending doom creeping in as I drove him to the hospital against my better wishes (I was worried they would try to misdiagnose him with COVID-19). However, something inside me told me something just wasn’t right. As it turned out, he had a serious staphylococcus infection that had turned septic and was on the verge of Toxic Shock Syndrome. Both conditions are very aggressive and happen quickly without warning. It was a REALLY good thing I took him as soon as the initial symptoms presented as it virtually saved his life. If I’d waited even a few hours he could have died or been in the hospital for weeks instead of days. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve also had to wrap his wounds and that of my older son who is in cross-country and began getting blisters on his feet. These are just a few examples, there are countless others in which I’ve been grateful for my training and knowledge in the medical field. I could name off many more common medical emergencies (such as accidental drowning in bathrooms or pools, slips and falls, cuts, burns etc.) to encourage you to learn what to do in case of emergencies. So check out your local community college for some hands-on medical classes and just see what they have to offer. If that’s not an option for you, at the bottom of this article I have a list of low-cost or free classes you can sign up for with the Red Cross, including a first aid class.
2. Sign up for a CPR class: I highly recommend taking a CPR class regularly that includes certification for resuscitating both adults and children. I once saved my oldest son’s life by pulling a piece of chicken from his throat, and my own life by performing stomach thrusts on myself because no one else was home! Typically, finding a CPR class nearby is as easy as signing up for a class on the Red Cross website, or doing a search for “CPR class near me.”
3. Take a child psychology class: Even though this is typically part of a full degree, some community colleges allow you to take single classes for a fairly affordable fee. However, there is nothing saying you can’t qualify for pell grants to take these courses. I started college taking Early Childhood Education classes and finished with an associate’s degree in Psychology. I am so grateful I did. I also used this knowledge to home-school my children (if that is something you’d be interested in). In the beginning, I planned to open my own daycare so the Early Childhood Education classes covered a wide range of subjects for every age including sub-classes such as American Sign Language and childhood disorders and symptoms to recognize when your child might be struggling, (plus special needs or special requirements you may need to be familiar with when your child becomes school age). You can learn about the appropriate age-level milestones and common issues for each age. I was very glad for this history when my second son’s teacher tried to force an ADHD diagnosis on him. You’d be surprised that a child with a higher IQ (my son’s is 164) will get bored easily in Kindergarten. He was reading at age 3 (I taught him during home-schooling, plus many other advanced 3rd-4th grade level classes). You can also take a comprehensive child-safety course or look up a C.H.A.D. (Children Have An iDentity) class near you. Nearly all of my classes were in an online format so I could study from the comfort of my own home at my convenience, which would be helpful right now with the COVID-19 pandemic. Many times, children go through things that they themselves don’t understand.
4. Buy a Dave Ramsey book on living debt-free: Many parents just don’t do the math when it comes to providing for your child’s every need for 18 years or longer. A couple thousand on diapers (if you use disposable), another couple thousand on formula (if you don’t breastfeed), and hundreds– or thousands of dollars a year on toys, clothing, medical equipment, car seats, and necessary equipment (cribs, strollers, booster seats, playpens, etc.) is nothing compared to the school years. Yearbooks are at least $50 a year, school clothing, shoes, backpacks, and supplies usually costs me about $1000 to $1500 (and I buy used clothes!) every year, school pictures are around $50 per child, $100 a week in gas to take my kids to sports practices, competitions, games, band events, and that doesn’t even include driving them around for school fundraisers. Tack on Christmas and Birthdays and you’ll find the better part of your income going to your children. So let me just say, if you are in the middle to the low-income range, you’re going to want to save every dollar you can.
5. Get involved with First Steps: I’ll be forever grateful to First Steps for helping me determine a few issues I was having with my children. Two of my children were behind on their motor skills due to health issues and one of my boys had gone almost completely deaf by 9 months due to fluid in his ears. Their knowledge, resources, and referrals saved me many headaches and TIME which was so valuable when it came to these things, especially the hearing loss. My partially-deaf son had to learn how to talk all over again after having tubes put in his ears. They also helped us get into a really awesome physical therapy program for my boys motor skills as well as the Imagination Station (by referral ONLY), and one of my boys was flat-footed (this can be a huge problem in development, I am knock-kneed due to a missed diagnosis and it never goes away), so they referred me to a wonderful pediatric orthotic office. Today they are all healthy and well because of these things.
6. Get involved with Parents As Teachers: Parents as Teachers is an amazing program, especially if you need inspiration to come up with new games and ideas to teach or play with your child. They can show you how to make your own games super-cheap with scraps lying around the house! Plus, it is a really good opportunity for your child to socialize with others and gives you a bit of a break while they play together as well. Sometimes you get free books and games to keep and they also keep you up-to-date on your child’s milestones.
7. Talk to a Nutritionist: There are classes you can take on healthy living, healthy eating, and eating healthy on a budget. You could also simply take a cooking class at your local community college. Preventing your child from gaining weight and eating or drinking refined sugars from an early age prevents a whole host of health problems including childhood diabetes, childhood obesity, tooth decay, gum disease, bone defects, learning disabilities, ADHD, and addiction. Many people do not realize that the things your child eats or drinks can affect them into adulthood. Obesity, food or sugar addiction, dental problems, and physical health problems can be permanent, or at the very least, can affect your child their entire life.
8. Get involved with La Leche League: Breastfeeding is a very natural and cost-effective way to give your child the best nutrition possible. I have used both bottle and breast to feed my children, and when my twins were born I knew I could not afford double the formula so I joined La Leche League. As it turns out, the group is a very welcome environment to help normalize breastfeeding. No one is going to judge you for bottle-feeding, but I personally saved over $3500 from the cost of formula in 2007 just by breastfeeding my twins. That’s a hefty price tag! The truth is breastfeeding, while natural, often feels very awkward or painful and there are many reasons why this can happen. Reach out to La Leche League if you’re hoping to breastfeed; you’ll be glad you did.
9. Join your local WIC program: Your local Women, Infants, and Children program can help you with a wide variety of foods and resources to help you and your children have the proper nutrition if you need to save some money or cannot afford to buy enough food. If you cannot or choose not to breastfeed your children, WIC can help you with the cost of formula. Not everyone qualifies for this program, but if you do they help you from the time of pregnancy until your child is age 5.
10. Research Cloth Diapers: In 2007 I purchased $300 worth of cloth diapers for my twins. You can get started way cheaper than that though. The diapers are SUPER cute and you can buy all kinds of colors and designs. My overall savings was approximately $4000 by not using disposables.
11. Buy a decent medical kit or make your own: Items in your medical kit should include a very wide range of medical equipment and medicines. You should include the basics such as Band-Aid variety pack, triple-antibiotic ointment, hydrocortisone cream, medical tape, gauze, gauze pads, thermometer (I use the no-touch infrared forehead type, you can find them for as low as $15), baby or children’s fever reducer and pain reliever (I keep both Tylenol and Ibuprophen because you can alternate them), Pedialyte, Tonic Water, Naproxen, waterproof earplugs, saline nasal spray, eyewash, Aloe Vera, burn cream, Epsom salt, Ace Bandage, Bandage wrap, compression bandage, isopropyl alcohol, hand sanitizer, peroxide, and Benadryl. You can also include anything else that might come in handy for emergencies such as an AED defibrillator or Epi-Pen. Feel free to add anything to this list that fits your specific needs. The Red Cross also offers classes on AED training and AEDs can be purchased from a medical supply store, on Amazon, or directly from The Red Cross. You can also purchase first aid and emergency kits and supplies, and resources are available in books and DVDs.
12. Join a Church Community: Many people today are not religious and that is okay. I am a Christian, but this post is not meant to push that on you. The point of the church community is to have just that, a community where you can feel welcome and socialize with other adults while your child can socialize with other children and adults as well. Make friends, playdates, or just get out of the house for a bit. I have gone to church my entire life and I’ve never been to a church where they FORCED me to join or to believe the way they do, so if you end up in a place that is trying to FORCE you to do anything, I’d move on to another church. Most of the time, churches can also help you with local programs and resources (such as a thrift store, back to school program, or donations to your family), and they also often have planned dinners, study groups, Vacation Bible School for your kids, and promote a chance to learn, grow, and connect with other parents and grandparents who will be a huge asset to you during the course of yours and your child’s life.

*The Red Cross offers classes for:

• Online Only
• First Aid
• CPR
• AED
• BLS/CPR For Healthcare
• ALS/PALS
• Babysitting & Child Care
• Lifeguarding
• Swimming + Water Safety
• CNA Training
• CNA Testing
• Instructor Training

To sum it up, resources are crucial to being a good parent. Whether they are government resources, learning resources, search engine resources, tutorial resources, or community resources, those are going to be your saving grace in all the years of parenting. Much of what I have not covered here has to do with raising teenagers and adult children but I will save that for another day in another post. There are other options you can consider such as getting a library card (and using it!), taking a musical instrument class (such as guitar or piano), singing class, art class, or math class at your local community college so that you can have hobbies or skills to share with your child when they start bringing home those challenging math papers or pick up a musical instrument in the school band. If taking a class isn’t in your budget, again, refer to YouTube tutorials. I’m convinced you can learn anything you want to learn just by doing a few searches online.

Reach out to me with any feedback! If you enjoyed this article, please let me know, and if there’s anything I can do for you I’d love to help! I’ll try to answer any questions you may have. What stage of parenting are you in?

Jeannie Culbertson~The Noteworthy Mom